The Epiphany Behind Barry Manilow’s Success, as told to Elise Ballard

I’ve always found Barry Manilow’s epiphany about the Power of Love within a family so moving. If not for the supportive, encouraging love and actions of his family – in particular, of his stepfather – Barry Manilow’s songs might not exist in this world today. (And being #1 Fanilow myself, that would be an absolute tragedy!) In fact, in response to my posting on Positively Positive, someone wrote in about his music causing a life-changing epiphany in her life and she’s even writing a book about it.

You never know how you are affecting someone with your work, or with what you say, or with what you do, or with, simply, your example of love.

Barry Manilow’s Greatest Epiphany in Life from Epiphany: True Stories of Sudden Insight

Your actions and words are always, always having an impact on another person—especially children.
—Barry Manilow

So, I looked up what the word epiphany meant. The dictionary defines the word like this: “a sudden intuitive leap of understanding, especially through an ordinary but striking occurrence.”

I’ve had a few moments like that in my life. But my first thunderbolt happened when I was thirteen years old. You would think it might have been my bar mitzvah, but it wasn’t.

It was Willie Murphy.

Willie was my mother’s second husband, my stepfather. They married when I was thirteen, and we all moved into this tiny apartment in the Williamsburg section of Brooklyn, New York, where I was raised.

I had lived in Williamsburg all my life. Up to that point, I was being brought up by my mother, Edna, and my grandparents, Joe and Esther. My biological father left when I was an infant, and the three adults were raising me along with a neighborhood filled with relatives and yentas.

The three of them knew I was musical but didn’t really know what to do with me. The music business was a very faraway land, and besides, there was no money in my family for music lessons.

As I grew up, it became obvious that I had a lot of music in me. So the three adults saved up their money and rented me an instrument that all the Jewish and Italian kids were learning: the accordion. There wasn’t much you could do on the accordion, but damn, I was good at it. I picked up reading music very fast, and I actually played the thing so it didn’t sound like an old Italian baker outside his store. The only music I was exposed to in my young life was Jewish folk songs and awful pop songs on the radio. That was it.

So when Edna married Willie Murphy, he inherited a very musical kid who didn’t know anything about music.

Willie was an uneducated truck driver, but one of the smartest men I’ve ever met. I’d find him reading James Joyce’s Ulysses and watching public TV instead of Leave It to Beaver. But most of all, it was the music he brought with him that changed my life. He brought with him a record player that sounded fantastic to my ears, since I’d only been exposed to small AM radios. It was what he played on that record player that introduced me to a whole new world.

His record collection was stacked next to this little hi-fi player, and it may as well have been a stack of gold for me. Each album was more glorious than the next—Broadway scores like Carousel, The King and I, The Most Happy Fella; great pop singers like Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall, Sinatra and his gorgeous Only the Lonely album; musical arrangers like Nelson Riddle, David Rose, Don Costa; big bands like Stan Kenton, Count Basie, and Ted Heath; jazz musicians like Bill Evans, Chet Baker, and Lambert, Hendricks, and Ross; and classical symphonies that, I swear, I thought would blow my head off.

I had never heard music like this. I didn’t even know it existed! I tried playing the overtures of the Broadway scores on my accordion, and I did pretty well! But Willie knew that would never do, so he saved his money and bought me a spinet piano. Between Edna and Willie, they pooled their money and sent me off to piano lessons once a week.

Willie Murphy and his stack of gold was my epiphany. I wish that every kid had a Willie in his life. Willie and his music sent me on my way to the life I have now. I’ll always be grateful to him. Without him, I’d be playing my accordion outside a bakery in Williamsburg. I just know it.

To learn more about Barry and his non-profit organization, The Manilow Fund for Health and Hope, and to get a Behind-the-Scenes peak of the interview, please go HERE

 

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Epiphany of the Day: “To Be Great, Serve.”

“To be great, serve.”
~ Bill Holston

Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “Everybody can be great because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

These are beautiful words, but I’m not sure I understood them until an event several years ago. Through this experience I came to believe that service is a privilege.

I have practiced law for 30 years. I have had the privilege of providing pro bono representation for people seeking asylum here in the United States. Through that experience, I’ve had the opportunity to hear the stories of very brave people who faced prison and torture because of their race, their pro democracy activities or how they worship God. I confess I used to pat myself on the back that I did this free legal work. An experience totally changed my mind about that, and led to this epiphany.

A number of years ago, I represented a young man from Zaire, now called Congo. He had been a pro democracy activist. This resulted in his arrest. He had managed to escape and make his way to America. He was lucky to be alive. His wife and children were in hiding in the town of Brazzaville. I assisted this young man to obtain political asylum here. Months later, he showed up unannounced at my office with his wife and children. They were no longer in hiding, but now making a new life in the United States. He introduced me to them and said, “I wanted to thank you in person.” He thanked me. I told him rather casually, that it was my pleasure. He looked at me, paused and said, “No, I know what you did for me, you gave me my life.” Then it hit me. It was I who was getting the most out of this relationship. Most people never get a chance to hear something like that.

This was perhaps the greatest moment in my career. It was unobserved and produced no money, but it was as close as I’ve ever been to greatness. I learned that it is a privilege to serve others, and now I’m thankful for the opportunity. Currently, I’ve represented people from 19 different countries, seeking refuge here in America.

This act of service on my part not only resulted in the highest compliment I’ve ever received, but now I have the privilege of devoting all of my professional energy to this cause.* Jesus once told his disciples, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant.” I think he was telling the truth.

~ Bill Holston, Dallas, TX

**On January 15, 2012, Bill left 30 years of law practice to become the Executive Director of The Human Rights Initiative, the agency he was accepting asylum cases from.

 

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Dr. Oz’s Greatest Epiphany in Life

 

Every Tuesday our Epiphany! series has a new posting on Positively Positive and today’s featured epiphany is from my interview with Dr. Mehmet Oz.

Many times we will have epiphanies about others’ epiphanies, which may seem obvious, but it’s something I’ve found people want to know more about this so it’s something I’ll be talking about more in depth in a new workshop I’m leading in April for En*theos Academy. (More information on that later.)

I have epiphanies about my life and about life in general all the time because of all the epiphanies I hear and work with. Dr. Oz’s epiphany has become particularly meaningful to me as the Epiphany project has progressed. As one of the producers for Dr. Oz’s YOU fitness videos, when I had serious interest in getting this project done, he was one of the first people I asked for an interview. His epiphany is about listening – truly listening to others and respecting their perspectives and beliefs, whether you agree with them or not, and the power that lies in doing that for both the listener and the person being heard. I discovered the true meaning of this as I listened to the hundreds of epiphany stories I’ve gathered. “Listening” is also the first step or state of being required to have an epiphany.

What if we could all listen like this, as Dr. Oz describes? What if we could all listen with open hearts and minds and truly respect others’ beliefs and world perspectives whether we agreed with them or not? What might this world look, feel, and be like if we were all truly practicing this kind of listening? It’s something to think about, especially in the current political climate we’re in where, most of the time, no one seems to listen or respect one another at all.

We can all start practicing this kind of respectful listening in our own lives, with our own friends, family, colleagues, and even people briefly met, and collectively, one person at a time, one day at a time, we will become a society that hits the goal of awareness that Dr. Oz speaks of. 

The goal is to move from just knowledge, which is information,
to understanding, which is awareness.
~ Dr. Mehmet Oz


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Epiphany of the Day

“Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”
~ The Dalai Lama


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“Love, Epiphany-Style”: 5 Inspirations about Love


“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” 


– Judy Garland

When people ask me about the major themes of epiphanies, there are many: healing, forgiveness, discovering a calling, coming of age, to awaken to a new direction in life are all examples of themes that occur often in epiphanies. But if you want to boil every epiphany down to its very essence, they are all always really about some form of LOVE – love of self, love of others, love of the Divine, love of one’s work, love of community, love of the world-at-large.

Since today is a day that celebrates love, especially romantic love, I wanted to share a few of my love inspirations:  a photo of a message on a wall of a favorite coffee shop of mine in Austin, TX; a quote of Judy Garland’s (both of those above); a favorite sonnet; a new favorite book and tips for a successful relationship that it contained; and an excerpt of my interview with Dr. Michael Roizen, founder of RealAge and partner of Dr. Oz on numerous best-selling books.

Michael realized that no matter how successful he might become or already be, none of it mattered (nor could he have accomplished it!) without his wife, Nancy. Then he realized that that was true about all relationships and that it’s not career and all the success it brings with it (ie: money and fame, anyone?) that is “the thing” in life. People, relationships, LOVE are “the thing.”

Today is a great reminder to celebrate and honor all our loved ones and relationships,  whether romantic or not, and express our excitement and gratitude for them — all the time.

What are some of your inspirations about love? What is your greatest epiphany about love? We’d love to hear….

Sending love and gratitude to you, my readers, and wishing you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day!

1.) One of my all-time favorite sonnets:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments.
Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
– William Shakespeare


2.) 6 Phrases to Always Say for A Successful Marriage/Any Relationship
(directly excerpted out of the most beautiful book of oral histories, All There Is by the StoryCorps Project. If you don’t know what that is, you must go check it out and read my blog about it on Positively Positive.)

1.) You Look Great.
2.) Can I Help?
3.) Let’s Eat Out.
4.) I Was Wrong.
5.) I Am Sorry.
6.) I LOVE YOU.

3.) Michael Roizen’s Epiphany from my book about his wife, Nancy.

“It isn’t career that’s ‘the thing’ in life.
People, relationships, LOVE are ‘the thing.’ ”
– Michael Roizen, M.D.

About five years after RealAge was started (the result of my other major epiphany in life), I had been married twenty-six years at that point and our youngest child had just gone off to college. So both of our kids had moved out. I should have realized this a long time before, but all of a sudden I realized just how important the choice of your spouse or life partner is to life. I had always realized it’s nice to have a great wife—a wife whom you’re attracted to and whom you respect, who does great things, and who brings up kids with you, and so on—and maybe it’s part of my background, but I had never realized that it probably outweighs everything else in the quality of life and the quality of your happiness. It wasn’t a particular instance that happened, but I just realized how lucky I was and how easy life was because my wife, Nancy, was so wonderful.
I realized that Nancy had made everything work so that I could be successful, and I suddenly realized how relatively unimportant my career is compared to her. It is the major relationship in my life that is the most fulfilling thing and what makes life so wonderful for me.

This epiphany about my wife has, in turn, affected all my relationships because as a scientist and doctor building up a career in science, you work very hard and can get “married” to your work. Sometimes you tend to think of relationships as not being quite as important as the career. But my career could go to heck, and it wouldn’t really matter—it isn’t career that’s the thing, people are the thing. Even in terms of my colleagues, like my relationship with Mehmet Oz, our friendship is much more important than a lot of other things. I was fifty-three and had been married twenty-six years before I realized all this, so it took me a while to realize the obvious, right? I’m a slow learner—but better late than never!

Michael Roizen, M.D., is co-founder of RealAge and chairman of the RealAge Scientific Advisory Board. He has been listed in the Best Doctors in America since 1989, and his wife, Nancy, is a developmental pediatrician, also listed in the Best Doctors in America, and together they have two children. (www.realage.com) To read/see more about Michael Roizen and our interview, you can go here.

 

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